Sunday Rando Springs Occurrence

mmelinger ♦ May 18, 2025 ♦ Leave a comment

On a sunny Springs morning when the leaves have finally budded out and every tree is swaying in the mountain breeze to say “How t’cha do?”, I can think of little more satisfying than to stroll downtown for a cuppa my favorite morning brew at my favorite morning brewjoint. So that’s what I found myself doing this morning.

Sauntering along, I notice a slight and sandy man walking toward me on the narrow sidewalk we are traversing next to a somewhat sketchy apartment building at the end of my block. (I’m sure most of the residents there are fine and decent people, but there are a few for whom the term ‘poop bag’ is an alien concept. It’s a “watch your step” kind of place. Just seems to be embedded in the local culture, and you don’t want it embedded in your shoe.)

ANYWAY….

The slight and sandy man continues his approach. I guess the best way to describe him is that he looks like William H. Macy, if you were to put some dorky glasses on him and boil him down by about a third. His approach is silent and he makes no eye contact–but when he is about ten feet in front of me, he stops, bends down, and places a shiny object on the sidewalk in front of me–then continues on wordlessly, walking away from his offering.

OK, so that was random.

Not quite sure how to proceed, I glance down–yep, shiny object of no clear purpose–and behind me–yep, Condensed Macy still continuing down the sidewalk with nary a backward glance–and decided “This is too weird to acknowledge.” And continued on to my appointment with Destiny–Destiny in this case being an oat chai latte.

But of course, I couldn’t just leave it at that. In the back of my mind, I’m still wondering what most would be wondering: “What the hell was THAT?”

An hour later, coming back to the Scene of the Unsolicited Offering, guess what? It was still there, albeit moved off the sidewalk and onto the adjacent asphalt apron. So of course, I had to snap a pic. Here ’tis:

At first glance, it seemed like part of a seat belt buckle. But upon closer inspection (yes, I touched it. I have zero sense) it became apparent that it was not, because there was no way to thread anything through like a belt.

So upon returning home, I ran the photo through Google Image Search, because of course I did. And sure enough, Google knows, because Google knows everything, and so does Elon Musk. Here’s what Google said, and it makes perfect sense:

“The image shows a chute cover for an Astro brand gumball or candy vending machine.”

Well, that clears THAT up. But as is common with rabbit holes, it opens up a whole slew of other questions. Like:

Why is Rando Macy Reduction carrying around the chute cover for a gumball machine? And once procuring it, why so cavalier about parting with it? Is this some new form of civil disobedience, or a personal vendetta against machines that in fact give you very little for your money?

And what of the gumball machine itself? Presumably, it’s standing innocently somewhere, chute now exposed for all the world to see. Will an unobservant child, in the company of feckless or distracted parents, innocently cadge a quarter and then be showered with gumballs pinballing across the floor? If you are five, say, very little in your life experience will have prepared you for this. If you’re like me at that age, you would pick them up and stuff them in your mouth anyway, sticky floors be damned. And then who knows what complications could ensue?

I know, I’m overthinking it. But I’m retired.

Perhaps you’ll have a better explanation of the morning’s events. I’ve already decided that some things just can’t be explained, and it has led me to a happier life overall.

But what do I know? Very little in my life experience has prepared me for this.