Author Archive: mmelinger

I Don’t Work Cats In Restaurants

As I was leaving the gym this morning, walking to my car right around dawn, I overheard a snatch of conversation.  A guy about forty, looked like a firefighter perhaps, was talking with a young woman who was probably his daughter.  I didn’t catch what she said that preceded his remarks, but I heard him …

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My Lucky Quarter

I perform for children.  A lot of children.  Every day, with the children.  One hundred thirty shows a year, just for the children.  As they say, it keeps you young.  It also presents a rich opportunity for teachable moments. For example: we played a school show a couple of weeks ago.  Not important where.  Let’s …

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Coming Soon to a Theater Near You!

Herbie, baby! Howie. First off, thanks for taking this meeting.  You won’t regret it. You got five minutes.  Whaddaya got? This is one of those stories with everything, trust me. YUGE box office.  It’s about a guy who’s elected President– Waidaminnit.  You want me to take a flyer on a political drama?  Forget it! No, …

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First Seven Jobs? That’s an easy one!

People on Facebook (I use the term “people” loosely, but that’s as close as I prefer to get) have been posting their first seven jobs, which got me to thinking: Have I even had seven jobs? Surely I must have by now.  So let me dust out the dark recesses where my brain used to …

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The Clueless Cook

Now that I have changed what I allow myself to eat by a factor of–oh, let’s say a zillion–I have assumed responsibility for preparing virtually everything that goes into my mouth.  We may eat out occasionally, but even then I am very careful when ordering, to the point of deconstructing the menu, sometimes to the …

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You want us to play where?!

Musicians put up with a lot of strange requests, hopefully with good grace, but one thing we do like assurance on is that we will be allowed to play in a location that is adequately lit, covered, spacious enough, and in some appropriate proximity to those we are playing for, i.e. other people.  OK, I …

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One-Lane Boulevard

I finally got around to seeing Robin Williams’ last dramatic role, in the 2014 film Boulevard.  This makes me part of a select few, because not many people saw this stinker.  It had a limited release, primarily on the festival circuit.  Even though it is Robin Williams’ swan song, most people probably found the subject …

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Fast, Cheap, and Easy

Now that I’ve been hanging with the Dr. Mark Hyman Detox Plan for the past three months and dropped 28 pounds, people have started getting curious.  As in, “What the hell has gotten into you?” Or more usually, “How did you do it?”  I mean, this Hyman guy has a whole book of recipes, but …

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Fun with Cashews, Pt. 2: Curried Cashew Cauliflower Soup

My saga with the 10-Day Detox continues, now in its 2oth day.  Dr. Hyman has taken my body hostage and will only release it for a box of Hostess Ding-Dongs. For those keeping score at home, I’m now down 10 pounds.  Halfway to my goal of Good God, Nothing Fits Anymore. When last we met, …

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Fun with Cashews

OK, so we just came off 10 days with Dr. Mark Hyman’s Detox Diet.  Pretty simple!  All you have to cut out is sugar, flour, wheat, corn, dairy, grains, fruits and fruit juices, legumes, starchy vegetables, and the will to live.  That leaves protein (now in the 4-ounce fun size!), non-starchy vegetables, and existential angst. Just kidding.  It …

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