Ya know what really chaps my quiddick?

On the other hand, it would be a shame to muss up that pristine whiteness with a messy bunch of gigs.

Almost seems a shame to muss up all that pristine whiteness with a messy bunch of gigs.

The following is an edited version of a Facebook thread I started a few weeks back.  Other than my own, the names have been reduced to initials.  If my friends are still recognizable–well, that’s just the way I do ’em.  –MM

“It really pisses me off when people get more gigs than me just because they’re better players and have a better attitude.”
  • 48 people like this.
  • SRB:   yeah, that sucks —
  • BT:   Man I know right. I don’t get that either.
  • PL:  Yeah, probably better looking too
  • Michael Melinger    HEY!!!
  • BB:  What’s Talent and Personality have to do with it?
  • HB:  You would probably get more gigs if you didn’t have such a complicated rider. Most venues don’t have green rooms, much less having it painted pink for you. Really, the brown M&Ms are the same flavor as the other colors. And Sound people don’t all go by the name Leroy.  What, Do you think your in Dallas? Maybe you should get Jay Z to be your agent?
  •  Michael Melinger I will take it under advisement, HB. In the meantime, stop breathing my air.
    MG:   I just know that recently my band needed a sax player and we discussed the “Melinger Option”. Two guys threatened to quit,one had a seizure and another started drinking again after 20yrs sober. That was just the discussion.
  • Michael Melinger So what time does the gig start?
  • FD:  Then they play my style better than I do!
  • SS:  Don’t worry about it. They’re probably still judging you for something you done wrong 20 years ago. That’s their problem not yours. Just keep evolving.
    JH:  I know and they’re so many of them
  • MK:  Hah! Melinger- we are going to have to “get our own damn gigs!”
  • FK:  That just doesn’t seem fair!
    BB:  Who ever said life was fair?
  • FK:  No one I know ever said life was fair…and that doesn’t seem fair.
  • SL:  This is the one of the finest posts/comments streams I’ve ever read. It has more substance and creativity than half of the bass solos I’ve ever heard, and 99.78% of the scatting ever done, worldwide.
    CM:  Mike, if it’s any consolation people don’t hire me because – and I quote – “you live like five states away.” That’s cold blooded.
  • SS:  I’m afraid to say anything.
  • DW:  I want all the gigs myself and for nobody else to have any.
    SS:  I was just going to say that being passed over for gigs is a perfect opportunity to cultivate humility and generosity, but I think DW said it better.
  • GR:   I just assume people don’t like the way I play.
  • GR:  Hah! I was kidding; everybody lives the way I play, and the way I smell.
    GR:  Lives = Loves
  • SS:   “Lives=Loves”. True that. That’s all we need to know. Thanks. And your personal hygiene is beyond reproach.
  • SL:   See? It just keeps getting better, like a James Polk B3 solo.
  • Michael Melinger I’ve been gone a few hours, but now that I’m catching up with this thread, I am convinced that I have the finest friends on the planet. Now, give me a damn gig.
    CM:  Mike, can make a 9 pm down beat? My tenor payer in Boise bailed on me. I know I should have called you first, but…
  • Michael Melinger What’s it pay? Oh damn, there’s my crappy attitude again…
    CM:  It’s a fundraiser for a good cause, so no pay, but we get a free meal and soft drinks, plus we’ll be on first call for any paying gigs they have, so don’t forget business cards. Oh, and can you bring a PA?
  • Michael Melinger  Already dying of exposure in Idaho, eh? Judging from your photos this morning, it should be quick.
    Then a couple of latecomers seemed to take my post at face value.  That’s usually a mistake.
  • JS:  Hey Michael. You play 120 schools a year (minimum of 4 gigs a week during the school year), as well as quite a few workshops a week. These are jazz gigs (REAL music!). You also have a successful teaching studio and other party gigs, etc. You have also managed to organize things to where you can do 99% of it within 35 miles of your home. You also create a nice environment to work in and your checks never bounce. I consider you one of the most successful musicians I have EVER met. For WHATEVER that’s worth!
  • JP:  You are preaching to the choir. Keep AJW working. You’re doing a wonderful job. That’s real satisfaction.
  • Michael Melinger Thanks, you two. I’m hoping you realize my tongue was planted firmly in my cheek when I wrote that post. Judging by the number of ‘likes’ it must have struck a chord.
  • MN:  Really isn’t fair, is it?
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